Mets are promoting Christian Scott to the majors this weekend–[presses finger to ear] “Yes, I can hear you? What happened? As soon as they gave him the news he was promoted to the Mets Christian Scott became…bad? How does that happen? I see, so as soon as they said the word ‘Mets,’ he suddenly lost his command and injured his UCL. That sucks. Okay, thanks for letting me know.” Wow, so that’s a bummer. Well, here’s what Itch said about Christian Scott prior to his call-up, “Rather than chase the big names, I tend to pick my spots with rookie pitchers, and this is one of them. At 6’4” 215 lbs, Scott has been adding velocity since being selected in the 5th round of the 2021 draft. He was mostly a reliever as a collegian because Florida had plenty of high-end rotation options while Scott was there. His command has come together in a full-time starting role, and a slider he added from watching video of Max Scherzer is producing dynamite results. In 62 innings with Double-A Binghamton, Scott posted a 0.84 WHIP with 77 strikeouts and a 2.47 ERA. I think he’ll be starting in New York sooner than later. Debatable if it happens before I attack Grey in his sleep.” What on earth? That was from prior to the season, but so far it’s been the same story: 25 1/3 IP, 3.20 ERA, 12.8 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 0.71 WHIP. Seemed to have a homer allowed problem this year (7), but think it was a small sample thing. Since his command is so good, and his strikeout stuff so dirty, I’d grab him in all leagues to see how it plays out with the Mets–[presses finger to ear] “Oh, I see, that’s a shame. So, 14-18 months?” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-3, 1 run, 4 RBIs, hitting .207, as he entered the game, replacing Joey Wendle. The funniest was the Mets fans, who have been complaining about Lindor for the last month, getting a taste of the alternative with Wendle. Don’t mind Lindor as much now, huh? By the way, he entered the game late because his stomach was bothering him. He said he felt like he was going to do a number two at shortstop. They call that The George Brett.
Ben Brown – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (5 BBs), 5 Ks, ERA at 4.23. Shame he couldn’t control anything because he was lifted with the lead, but ended up Lovelady blew it, which sounds like it was on the video store shelf next to Foxy Brown, who was unrelated to Ben, as far as I know.
Nico Hoerner – 1-for-4, 1 run and his 3rd and 4th steal, hitting .271. Steal more! They make me Hoernier!
Christopher Morel – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and a slam (5) and legs (3), and 2nd homer in the last four games. Morel loves the month of May. This is what I’m saying to manifest it. Please, please, please get as hot as you were last May. Morel? No! MoreHRs, MoreSBs, MoreEverything!
Walker Buehler – Will return on Monday. Don’t have him anywhere but I’m rooting for him. Just not that hard. Like rooting for a 5 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks type game.
Paul Skenes – There were rumors he was coming up this weekend, but those rumors were proven to be false. He has not yet perfected fielding bunts! He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but he should be rostered everywhere.
Jacob Stallings – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. You can’t get one past when it’s up Jacob’s ladder!
Josh Bell – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer. Saw Bell homered off Lambert and I thought about ringing Miranda Lambert’s doorbell and seeing how she was doing. These are the things that go through my mind.
Edward Cabrera – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.05. EdCab is why they innovated to EdUber. I’d leave it there if it were a full schedule of games, but since MLB schedules five games on Thursday, let’s look at EdCab, and why his meter starts at $50. His 14 K/9 is not a typo. He’s been striking out everyone, but his 4.7 BB/9 makes things rough to swallow. His 2.59 xFIP shows a guy who is a buy low. If his slider and fastball qualified, they’d be top 20 and top 15, respectively. Would I pick him up? Sure, but I wouldn’t start him until I saw something decent, so you’re basically stashing, which is hard in most leagues.
Jon Singleton – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in three games, which is whatever, but why is Joe Espada playing Singleton every game now that Abreu is applying to be a cruise director in Florida and Loperfido isn’t playing? Please don’t tell they called up Loperfido to see what they have from the 32-year-old, who’s never been good, Jon Singleton.
Spencer Arrighetti – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 8.27. Fun fact! Poorly-made Arrighetti is something that sends someone home on Top Chef.
Alex Bregman – 0-for-4,1 run and his 2nd steal, hitting .200. One day I’m going to do a full roundup of every disappointing player who is hitting .200 or lower.
Nathan Eovaldi – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.61, but left with groin tightness — TMI! Free. What is the price to acquire Eovaldi in literally every league? Annoying. What is the trope of putting things in a the Jeopardy! format?
Mitchell Parker – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.53. Parker? Not in a Trader Joe’s lot! His 1.7 BB/9 plays anywhere, but Nats will give him no run support for Wins and he doesn’t strike out that many guys, so Streamonator.
Keibert Ruiz – 1-for-4. He’s hitting .151, which is a rum, but RUN away from him!
Kyle Harrison – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 3.79. Coming into this game, he had a 1.4 BB/9, so, yeah, this game could’ve went way more sideways as Harrison was Harrisoff. Luckily, he was facing a lineup that featured Short at 2nd. Why? I don’t know, as Abbott & Costello would say.
Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-2 and his 3rd homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. returned to where his grandfather made his bones. Can you guess where? What’s that, a laboratory-dungeon under a castle? No! What kind of bones do you think I’m talking about! A Hollywood soundstage in Vancouver with David Boreanaz? No! Not that kind of Bones either. What is wrong with you? You’re a terrible guesser.
Josh Winckowski – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.22. One thing Winckowski doesn’t lack is Polish.
Kyle Bradish – 4 2/3 IP, 1 ER, as he returned from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “The stapler in the urinal was mine. Not sure how it got there.”
Ryan Mountcastle – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hit his 5th homer, hitting .290. “It’s elementary, my dear Westburg.” That’s David Tennant as Mountcastle showing Jordan Westburg a periodical table.
Jorge Mateo – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs as he hit his 1st homer. Now has the same number homers as Wyatt Langford, and one more than Jordan Walker. [emoji that is standing on a giant block of ice under a hanging noose] Emoji, “This is gonna really confuse people.”
Ryan McKenna – 1-for-2 and his 1st homer. Another emoji who drafted Wyatt Langford and Jordan Walker asks if there’s room on the ice.
Gleyber Torres – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. “If you attach two hundred pounds of sand to his ankles, he should sink right to the bottom of the Hudson–Hold up! Gleyber moved! He’s alive!”
Carlos Rodon – 4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.68. Regression Fairies will say you’re sweet as pie while ripping the heart out of your ratios like they’re Mola Ram.
Alex Verdugo – 1-for-3 as he returned from the paternity list. His baby came out wearing two chains and the Yankees’ doctor ordered it back into the womb.
