‘Twas the night before Razz-mas, and all through the land
For the snow, it was falling, in all of the places
Out of windows peered FAs, dollar signs on their faces.
All the kids, seeking joy, the fat man in his sleigh
(But, alas, that guy emptied all gifts in L.A.)
For a Japanese unicorn, ‘sposed to be on a plane?
At the end of that day, signed a god among men
And who landed in T-dot? Just guy from a Den?
With the huge contract signed, most definitely a sign
That those small market fans are all ready to whine.
The World Series champs, and their manager Bochy
Were still not enough to sign Moto named Yoshi.
But let’s hope, with those two, that the floodgates will burst
Yet before we go too deep, a quick recap – that’s first.
For our ’23 season, brought some serious numbers
The rule changes that MLB made in the spring
Seemed to speed all things up, nearly moved everything
To new levels of offense, and increased the steals
(But that didn’t help Lynn or Manoah skip meals).
The pitch clock seemed to help out those with quick deliveries
And for some slower dudes, it did lead to some injuries.
A biased once over, from your dear MarmosDad,
To pull back that speed curtain, of the steals that were had.
We went into last March, with just nary a clue
How much steals would be up, Bobby Witt in Round 2?!
After all the dust settled, give the crown to young Ron
And the silver to that bubbling Esteury yon.
For the River of SBs, it did flow rather fast,
Even Carroll with two steals for every blast.
We had more than two dozen with 30 bags nabbed
Had a Friedl, a Stott, and an Elly? Let’s go!!!
Stolen bases were up ‘cross the board, it was true,
But that is not all that I’m here to tell you.
Wait, excuse me while I go grab a cold Christmas beer,.
There’s a Bradish named Kyle, and a Justin of Steele
And a couple of aces still seek out a new deal.
Will decide to spin curveballs, put hitters through hell.
There’s a few teams that must, rather sooner than later,
Look to shore up the back end with a gas chucking Hader.
And selfishly so, up North yes I do hope
That Bellinger is enticed, (not just for legal dope).
(Maybe I should go top up this holiday beverage).
To the writers, good tidings, all you crazy cats
Every one of you wearing many literary hats.
From our ambulance chasers, oh those injuries left us reelin’
A joyous of good times for our RazzGirl named Keelin.
Maybe Cool Whip can pump up a Pearson named Nate?
Bullpen notes and my SAGNOF bro, that JKJ
Putting save and holds research stress so far away.
Laura Holt and her deep dives help out so much too
Helped me cash AL only, yes, how about you?
But the one that lines everything up, it’s MattTruss
Gives a lot of his time, but the credit to us.
Yes the writer team filled with so many good peeps
That the holiday praise should be doled out in heaps.
Yet I’m rambling in here, so I’d better close quick,
It’s another long drive from that Casty named Nick.
For this holiday season, I just want to send cheer
And to thank you, each one, for visiting us all here.
With that, I believe there’s but one thing still to say
Merry Razz-mas to all, from us, Rudy, and Grey.
Best wishes for the holiday season, Razzball faithful. Health and happiness to each and every one of you in 2024.
