Brewers called up Tyler Black, who has one of the most badass names. He sounds like Johnny Cash’s son if his son’s first name was Cash and was like, “I’m so badass but I’m changing my name from Cash Cash to Tyler Black, because that’s even more money than Cash Cash.” Guess what? Tyler Black also sings I Walk The Line with a 10+% walk rate, and I hear the Triple-A train a-comin’, but I shot a man in Reno — Sorry, DBacks, that’s where their Triple-A affiliate is! Tyler Black’s promotion means a playing time loss for a boy named who? Hopefully, Jake Bauers is skewered and Tyler Black is Brewered. We do know they optioned Owen Miller to the minors to make room. Here’s what Itch said in his preseason top 100 prospects, “Tyler Black made the most of 2023, playing all over the field while slashing .284/.417/.513 with 18 home runs and 55 stolen bases in 123 games across Double and Triple-A. He walked 88 times and struck out 100. I doubt the speed remains so intense at the highest level, but the rest of his skill set should translate pretty well. He’s a disciplined left handed hitter and viable defender at several spots, precisely the type Milwuakee tends to collect. I think he’s the best fantasy bet of their 2B/3B group of Brice Turang, Andruw Monasterio, Owen Miller and Punch Grey In The Head.” What? So, bunch of prospects coming — it’s that time of the year — and Tyler Black is one of my faves. He has some power, and can run a lot with a great OBP. Already added Black in my RCL league, as I fell into a burning ring of ‘take my steals higher.’ Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Freddy Peralta – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.21. Was ejected for hitting Jose Siri (who hit his 2nd homer). Freddy was merely trying to find professional vocational schools in the area and Siri heard provocation.
Willy Adames – 1-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 4th homer, as he hit cleanup, which isn’t nearly as goofy as Gary Sanchez hitting third. Black replaced Sanchez when he arrived at the park, so hopefully Tyler is the Brew’s Black.
Jack Flaherty – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 14 Ks, ERA at 4.00. Jack Flaherty proving that ex-Cardinals aren’t just future All-Star outfielders. He opened the game with seven straight Ks, which is a franchise record after 19,000+ games. I screamed to buy him after his last start, did you listen? Why not? You hater?
Riley Greene – 4-for-9, 3 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer. RG is VG!
Wenceel Perez – 3-for-8, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer, and three homers in the last two days of playing (and three games, because of the doubleheader). Go ahead, Mr. Wenceel! [moves sock puppet’s mouth to announce hot schmotato]
Kyle Gibson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.79. Clearly out-classed by Flaherty, any hoo, Streamonator loves his next one and why not?
Cooper Criswell – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.65. If one more guy comes up sounding like a bag of crisps in London, I’m gonna scream blimey. Grabbed him this past week in my AL-Only league, which is where his stats play. Not mixed league worthy. Honestly, he’s barely AL-Only worthy.
Yariel Rodriguez – Hit the IL with thoracic spine inflammation. Oh thank God, I mean, shucks.
Jose Berrios – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 1.44 vs. Cole Ragans – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.44. This was a rematch of their last start where I said something about Berrios being better value than Ragans because he was drafted 200 picks after him, and people didn’t understand what I was saying. Was Ragans not better? Yes, hence the 200 pick caveat.
Adbert Alzolay – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.55, got the loss yesterday giving up three unearned runs. They were unearned though, so can’t fault a guy for that, right? Right? [deafeningly silence] Right?
Javier Assad – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 1 K, ERA at 1.97. Assad is something like a 2.90 ERA pitcher in near-200 career innings, but, ya know, ERA can be misleading like when it says, “Hey, you’ll never guess what Mike Myers looks like now?!” Then you click on a pick of what looks like a pixelated pumpkin but he just looks like himself with white hair. ERA is less misleading when it is one of the categories in your league.
Sean Manaea – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 3.07. As I just said with Assad, do y’all not have an ERA category?
Mark Vientos – Optioned back to the minors. Mets have a very funny way of rebuilding.
Jon Gray – 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.48 vs. MacKenzie Gore – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.19. This start was billed as, “Gore vs. Gray, Palm Beach County, and Hanging Chads.”
Leody Taveras – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .226. Him and Wyatt Langford, two guys that were drafted in similar spots, having similar years. Yup, exactly that. Nothing sarcastic in my voice.
Yu Darvish – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.45, as he was activated from the IL. Dare I say Darvish is a streamer? I dare, I dare!
Jeimer Candelario – 2-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .189. I told you he didn’t retire, silly!
Landon Knack – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 2.81. As many of you know, this game was delayed due to bees. A honey do became a please bee gone, like your third marriage.
JJ Bleday – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. He’s the type to run off a quick five homers in a week, then disappear. Cust kayin’.
Connor Joe – 2-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .292. Shut up, brain, I don’t want to know how Connor Joe is better than Aaron Judge on the Player Rater.
Jorge Polanco – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. Damn, he’s doing good (for a guy with a .170 average). Parentheticals ruin all the fun (no, we don’t).
Juan Soto – 2-for-3 and his 8th homer. You see Sexy Dr. Pepper hit bombs and you’re like, how does this guy not have a 50-homer season? Because that guy is a soda and that soda is a line drive hitter.
Dean Kremer – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.19. Streamonator thinks his next one is a stinker, and I wouldn’t go near it either.
Ryan Feltner – 8 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.13. Rockies pitcher vs. the Marlins hitters is like, movable object meets stoppable force.
Elehuris Montero – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in four games. Could be a light schmotato starting to swelter.
Mike Trout – Has a torn meniscus and needs knee surgery, but they say it isn’t expected to be season-ending. Yeah, shocking. I am shocked. This is very shocking. No way. I don’t believe it. People always cite Grady Sizemore as a guy who would’ve been incredible if he stayed healthy, but Mike Trout would be approaching 800 HRs if he stayed healthy.
Luis Rengifo – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (9). I’m embarrassed to admit that when Bo Bichette wasn’t playing on Monday I subbed Rengifo in for him on my teams. Wait, not embarrassed. Elated! That’s the word!
Carlos Estevez – 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 6.23, and the blown save. He’s the incredibly fortuitous spot to be an awful closer without a decent setup man to replace him.
Spencer Turnbull – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.39. If someone dropped Turnbull when it looked like he was Turnbullpen, it’s time to pick him back up.
Nick Castellanos – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer, hitting .193. “The stewardess said I can’t sit it up on the seat next to me so can you help me shove it in the overhead–Hold on! Castellanos is moving! He’s alive!”
Johan Rojas – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .241. Hard to make the case he’s really that much better of a leadoff guy than Kyle Schwarber (1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .202), but, damn right I’m gonna make that case!
Josh Naylor – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer. Sometimes on my teams where I have Naylor, I go to the standings page to see the team with Vlad Jr. below me. Schadenfreude!
Andres Gimenez – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .280. Hasn’t done much for power so far (no dur!), but you didn’t draft him for that, and he’s been fine otherwise. Yes, I’m talking to the one person who asked about the “underperforming” Gimenez. He’s around 120th overall on the Player Rater. That’s not bad.
Joey Loperfido – 1-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs as he played LF and hit 7th. C’mon, move him up to 5th! Or are you [45-minute pause] chicken?
Alex Bregman – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .216. “Hey, I don’t know where I put my doorstop but if you prop his body against the door–Hold up! Bregman moved! He’s alive!”
Jose Abreu – Optioned to West Palm Beach Spring Training facility. Jose Abreu vs. Alek Manoah is going to be the Ted Williams vs. Bob Feller of our time.
Simeon Woods-Richardson – 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.45. Just gave you my Simeon Woods-Richardson fantasy the other day. Nothing’s really changed.
Andrew Benintendi – 1-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (3) and legs (1). Sure, I guess a hot schmotato, but, if you voluntary pick up Benintendi, it should come with a free head exam.
Jared Walsh – Signed a deal with the White Sox. The Sux are truly the team of “throw a bunch of shizz against the wall and see what sticks.”
Danny Mendick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. I see what the White Sox were trying to do going against Twins with Mendick. They heard about this rally sausage the Twins have been using to win. A summer sausage of preservatives and machismo wrapped in glory. To combat, Chicago tried to shove a Mendick into a White Sox and explode with joy. But there was no joy from Mendick’s attempt to upstage the sausage. The sausage rises again.
