RazzSlam Recap: It’s A [Does A Double Finger Gun] Points League

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture than to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Psyche! Before we get to the RazzSlam recap, the season’s first Buy/Sell is available on our Patreon, click that and sign up. It won’t be live on this site until next Friday. Anyway II, the RazzSlam recap:

C: Tyler Stephenson (15)
C: Ryan Jeffers (16)
1B: Bryce Harper (2)
2B: Nico Hoerner (3)
SS: Oneil Cruz (6)
3B: Alec Bohm (9)
MI: Jonathan India (18)
CI: Isaac Paredes (12)
OF: Juan Soto (1st round, 12th pick)
OF: Mike Trout (5)
OF: Lane Thomas (7)
OF: Christopher Morel (13)
OF: Leody Taveras (22)
UTIL: Sal Frelick (24)

Bench: Jackson Merrill (26), Luke Raley (27), Rene Pinto (29), Joey Ortiz (32), Mickey Moniak (33), Johan Rojas (35), Jose Trevino (38)

P: Luis Castillo (4)
P: Jesus Luzardo (8)
P: Joe Ryan (10)
P: Tanner Bibee (11)
P: Mitch Keller (14)
P: Ryan Pepiot (17)
P: Bryan Bello (19)
P: Charlie Morton (20)
P: MacKenzie Gore (21)

Bench: Reese Olson (23), Tyler Wells (25), Tylor Megill (28), DL Hall (30), Gavin Stone (31), Edward Cabrera (34), Ross Stripling (36), James McArthur (37)

ALL RIGHT, YOU GIANT BOZO, GIVE US YOUR WAR ROOM TOTALS

Mr. Al Capps, the name calling has to stop.

OKAY, YOU CLOWN, WHATEVER YOU SAY!

What’s wrong with you?

I STUBBED MY TOE AND I’M ICING IT. SORRY, JUST NOT A GREAT START TO THE DAY FOR YOURS TRULY.

Oh, okay, feel better. So, there is a War Room for the Best Ball drafts like the RazzSlam, but, I’ll be honest with you, I winged this.

FIRST OFF, IT’S WUNG, NOT WINGED, AND SECOND OF ALL, GOOD FOR YOU. FINALLY THINKING FOR YOURSELF. 

I appreciate that, especially since you’re just my internal monologue.

WAIT…WHAT?

Yeah, you’re just me screaming.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sorry, bro. It’s true. Here’s the scoring so we can at least try to make heads or tails of the league:

Here’s some points accumulated by players last year:

Spencer Strider (596)
Gunnar Henderson (594)

THE TOP PITCHER IN FANTASY WAS THE SAME AS GUNNAR HENDERSON? THAT SEEMS TELLING.

It’s telling me pitchers are so much less valuable in NFBC’s Points Leagues.

I SET YOU UP, YOU KNOCK ‘EM DOWN.

I do my best. Put up innings and potential wins and you have a chance to be a valuable pitcher. Last year, Chris Bassitt had 487 points. About 100 less than Strider. On hitting side, Brandon Nimmo had 529 points (less than 70 points than the top pitcher, by the by). Nimmo illustrates what is important on hitting too, but is pretty on par with the Player Rater. He was the 29th best outfielder last year on the Rater, and he was the 29th best outfielder in points at NFBC.

SO, THIS IS BEST BALL AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO ADJUST YOUR LINEUP. THERE’S NOTHING TO DO NOW, RIGHT? JUST LET CHATGPT SET YOUR LINEUP AND KICK IT WITH YOUR BOYS?

There’s a few FAAB waiver wire pickups throughout the season. Watch Truss’s RazzSlam and RCL columns and he’ll be sure to notify you when they’re coming up. The first FAAB pickup is quick, April 9th, then the next one isn’t until June. Otherwise, you just sit back and let the computer choose your best lineup. This also played into how upsidey I went with my draft. All you need is nine decent starters each week. In theory, your worst starts won’t be used, so if you go for upside guys it should be fine when they get blown up. I wish I had other BestBall elements in my life. Give me BestBall dentistry. My teeth get cleaned in the best way when I need it and no superfluous brushing or visits to the dentist. Give me BestBall avocado toast. Only when the avocados are just ripe enough do they get smushed on the best piece of toasted sourdough. Give me BestBall boxers. Just the right amount of comfort. Call them BestBalls.

I THINK YOU’RE DESCRIBING A FUTURE DYSTOPIA WHERE HUMANS MAKE NO CHOICES AND COMPUTERS DO EVERYTHING.

Sah-weet!