Junior Caminero sounds like a store you take your little one to when he wants to dress like a little cowboy. “Jorge, you be daddy’s best boy and I will dress you like a vaquero.” [sees a family of vaqueros walking through the Glendale Galleria] Me, a very Anglo, says to the camera, “I know where they’re going and it’s not Wetzel’s Pretzels. They’re going to Junior Caminero’s!” The commercial director yells cut, disgusted. I ask innocently, “Or is it Junior’s Caminero?” Every week I go over some of the biggest pickups in fantasy baseball, and every week they’re not called up. I kid (kinda). Skenes was called up, Coby Mayo was hurt and I still expect James Wood any day now. Same goes for Little Guy’s Shirt Barn aka Junior Caminero. He has nothing left to prove in the minors, and was already called up last year. He’s only 20 (until July), and he’s basically murdering minor league baseballs. He makes it look easy to all fields. Looks like Yordan Alvarez but from the opposite side, and with ten steals. It’s not a matter if, but a matter of when. It could be tomorrow, it might not be until September. It’s just a service time manipulation thing at this point. He’s more than ready. He’s got metal buttons on his shirt and a ten-gallon hat that says so. And a rack of spurs for your little Tomas to pick through! Two for one, my picante vaqueros! “Cut! It’s pequeno, not picante!” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released on Wednesday for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
David Fry – “David Free?” That’s a person who learned how to pronounce fried from Max Fried. Fry has catcher eligibility and is on pace for a 15/15 season with an absurdly good walk rate. Basically, a prime year from Realmuto.
Danny Jansen – Remove the games Jansen missed to injury, and he’s a top five catcher. Nearly the same as Will Smith. Now keep my catcher’s name outta your f**king mouth!
Luke Raley – Last year, Raley was in my Buy column for, like, all but two weeks of the season — he was top 75 on the Player Rater through July — i.e., Raley can get hot for an extended period of time, and not just be a schmotato that disappears.
Nolan Schanuel – With neutral luck, Schanuel can hit 22 homers and .270, or same as Vinnie “Mother’s Milk Tastes of Burrata” Pasquantino.
J.D. Davis – Gonna give you Jonathan Davis Davis and Jonathan Jonathan Bleday all in the same blurb, but will give Johnathan Rodriguez his own. Just you wait and see!
Josh Bell – I get it, Bell is hitting well now to get off the Marlins, but was kinda put off when he went to the plate wearing a cardboard placard that had his agent’s number and it read, “No trade clause means I don’t have one.”
Joey Ortiz – You look at his minor league numbers and it’s not hard to imagine he could’ve been in the majors for the last two years. In the majors, he’s had close to as many walks as Ks, with both being awesome, and he’s neutrally been a .285 hitter with power, and he has speed. Putting all my love from Luis Garcia Jr. on Joey. Whoa.
Jeff McNeil – Can’t believe I’m advocating for the Mets to hit McNeil leadoff and move Lindor down, but watching Lindor at-bats is sad for even the Mets.
Michael Massey – He’s either a 30/10/.290 hitter or he’s a hot schmotato and the first week of the season’s Maikel Garcia would like a word. Like a teamster, I’m leaning on the latter.
Nick Gonzales – I liked Ke’Bryan in the preseason, but now I hope he never returns. Ooh, am I being too Me’an for you?
Zach Neto – Angels absolutely suck, but it’s mostly their pitching. Their hitting isn’t awful for fantasy, because Ron Washington is blowing lines and screaming RUN!!! at everyone, like he’s got the kinetic energy of the firecracker guy scene in Boogie Nights.
Paul DeJong – It sounds like an insult to say he has an everyday job with the White Sux, but–Actually, it is. But he’s been hitting.
Matt Chapman – Not only is it nice to see Chapman hit, hopefully Soler will see him and remember, “Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to hit that little ball with the bat! That’s right!”
Tyler Freeman – The person from David Fry blurb, “If Max Fried is Max Freed, and David Fry is David Free, then Freeman is Tyler Fried…man?” Stephen Vogt seems to be doing well with what he’s got in Cleveland. Freeman doesn’t have much power (maybe 10 homers), but could steal 30+ the way he’s going, and he’s been hitting leadoff.
Jon Berti – Conspiracy Theory Alert! Aaron Boone was a garbage 3rd baseman, so he puts the worst possible hitter at 3rd base so he can remember himself fondly as being better.
Alec Burleson – In Triple-A, he had a 20/4/.331 season in 432 ABs. Only thing going against him is the Cards haven’t traded him away. Something must be wrong here.
Luis Matos – Here’s what I said when he was called up, “Sometimes a guy does better in the majors than the minors, because the sacrifice he made of his neighbor’s guinea pig–Being told we don’t talk about the sacrificing of animals anymore. Britney, the guinea pig, a beautiful girl of two-point-five pounds happened to walk off a plank and into a cauldron of a witch’s stew. Her family is saying an accident, but her friends know. So, this weekend was an eye-popper for Luis Matos. Where did that come from? Literally no one knows. Which is why I’m slightly skeptical. He had 14 RBIs in 76 games last year in the majors. Then exceeded that in three games? [cough] Fluke! [cough] Grab him everywhere because sometimes guys get hot for a week, sometimes it’s months. He does have power, speed and a solid hit tool. So, if your outfield is feeling a bit stale, stay fresh with Matos!” And that’s me quoting me!
Heliot Ramos – Everyone loves Matos (and me too) and no one loves Heliot (meh, me either), but guess what, suckas?! Heliot is just as hot!
Kevin Pillar – Between the White Sux, Suckies, Mehlins and like ten other teams, there has been no better time in history for terrible players to stay in the majors with an everyday job.
Jake Meyers – Since Chas (Sins?) was hurt, Meyers stepped in, and, brucely, was better. By a lot. Meyers is on a 30/15/.290 pace. He’ll cool, but the Astros should be in no hurry to remove him from their lineup.
Jordan Beck – Very intrigued by what Beck can do in Coors this weekend. Beck’s in Coors? What in the name of cheap beer is happening here?
Eddie Rosario – Maybe I’m crazy, but I think Rosario can have value for the rest of the year, and not just for this week. Maybe I’m like my father, too bold.
Johnathan Rodriguez – Here’s what I said when he was called up, “Every name should have an “athan.” Robathan, Tomathan, Greyathan. It’s just freakin’ cool, and I like cool. Johnathan was hitting well in the minors: 7/4/.276 in 156 ABs with a 15.7% BB%, but some excessive Ks. He could be a 20/12/.240 hitter, but I don’t think he has a clear track to everyday playing time.” And that’s me quoting me!
Chris Paddack – This is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to Hoover Vacuum headquarters.
Sean Manaea – This is also a Streamonator call. “It sucks and blows, but do you have any that also whispers sweet nothings?”
Reed Garrett – On this week’s podcast, I talk about how someone in one of my leagues dropped Reed for Jalen Beeks on Sunday night — after Edwin Diaz would need a break! — and, almost a week later, I’m still shaking my head like a cheap bobblehead. Even if Adam Ottavino gets some saves in m-Edwin-a res (like in media res? No? C’mon, not forced at all!), Reed has been as good as a number three starter on the year, and should be rostered in all leagues.
Griffin Jax – Alexis Diaz is the worst current closer. He sucks so bad. Carlos Estevez? Meh, not great either! There’s a few stinkers out there. Jhoan Duran? He’s smelling up the joint too, but he looks fine under the hood. Still, Jax might see some saves.
Luke Weaver – Seeing how well Luke Weaver is doing in middle relief in New York brings a chuckle. All relievers are just failed starters or is there some legitimate reason why Mariano Rivera was voted unanimously into the HOF? Fine, I’m a hater, but Mo was unanimous and Bonds isn’t in. Your museum is not legitimate.
SELL
Freddie Freeman – Fully expect him to make me look like an idiot this weekend, as he puts his chompers into fifth gear and goes into overdrive. Freeman puts his mouth on the ground and gobbles up total bases like he’s Pac-Man with his eight-by-six-inch teeth. (I measured them by pausing the TV — or should I say TeethV?) Also, Freeman’s officially aged. It took a while, but he’s showing signs at 34. He looks like a 17/10/.285 hitter vs. his 30/20/.330 guy he was for so long. HardHit% down, junky fly ball rate up, barrels down, and average exit velocity is zipping down the toilet. I wouldn’t trade Freeman for a bad case of the gout but I would look at our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
