The other day Bo Bichette announced he still wants to play for the Jays. Cool, I still want to practice my 13 years of Spanish with Salma Hayek. Hola, mi amor, I will say as we laugh and hold peaches to each other’s mouths. Mi amor, you’re letting it drip down my chin! Si, I enjoy, but then later it will become sticky. Haha, our first fight! Will the Jays and Bo hold peaches to each other’s mouths too next year? Yeah, maybe! His disappearing act that was preceded by one of the biggest stinkers of a season we’ve seen from a player in a while has allowed the Jays to audition a couple of other players, and I don’t know exactly how the Jays went from Bo to Spencer Horwitz, Addison Barger and Ernie Clement seeing ABs. Was Bo playing three positions? Maybe he was valuable! Nah! Haha, mi amor, remove the pit from my mouth I can’t chew that. Today, I want to speak on The Accountant with the Plate Discipline, Spencer Horwitz. His Statcast page is a nice hue of red. He looks like a neutral .275 hitter with 20+ homer power. His speed is a little iffy, but even iffy speed can steal a handful nowadays. Of course, this is all geared towards redraft with only a few weeks left and, like a red light in an H&R Block store window, this Horwitz is hot. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
SIKE! This post was released on Wednesday for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Bo Naylor – Having brothers named Josh and Bo is just dumb. Where’s the symmetry? Josh should be Bosh or Jo or Bo should be Jo or Bosh or they both should be JoBo. Figure your shizz out!
Pavin Smith – Went over him in detail in the latest podcast. The general gist was a poor man’s Ty France. Call him France’s Military?
Andres Chaparro – Was between Horwitz and Chaparro for the lede Buy this week, because both have been crazy hot and available — hey, it’s late in the season and we’re just trying to get a two-week hot stretch. Ended up going with Horwitz, because Chaparro makes some weak contact, which had me looking at the MLB leaderboards for weak contact and hello, Adley Rutschman. I don’t know, guys and five girls, maybe drafting a top catcher isn’t a good idea. Still formulating that thought. Here’s what I said when Chaparro was called up, “He’s a contact-first, some power 1st baseman who looks like a Yepez clone. Yedeux? Ya damn right! Chaparo had a 19% K% in Triple-A and 23 HRs in 105 games, after being shipped over from the DBags at the deadline in the Floro trade. He’s a bit old for a prospect (25), but he was buried behind Christian Walker, so can’t fault him a ton. I’d look at him for a corner infidel in 15-team mixed or deeper.” And that’s me quoting me!
Kody Clemens – Wonder if Bo Bichette and Kody Clemens played together when they were growing up or if they’ll play again in a few years in the KBO.
Seth Brown – He’s been hot — all the guys in this post have been — but I went back to look at what on earth I was thinking writing a Seth Brown sleeper last year, and he was coming off a 25/11 season, so, while still dumb, I understand it, kinda.
Ty France – So, he’s a rich man’s Pavin Smith? Call him Pavin Paradise-Put-Up-A-Parking-Lot.
Connor Norby – Ya know what’s a little crazy? The Marlins in previous seasons have always been known for their pitching, but actually have more promising hitting now. X-Ed, Connorby, Otto Mann, Bride–Okay, the last two were a little bit of a stretch, but promising-ish.
Taylor Walls – Hey, we all get shizz wrong, so one love, but looking at Walls’s stats, and I saw that prospect guys gave him a 60 grade hit tool. Walls has a .187 in over 1200 plate appearances. .187? Yeah, that hit tool is dead on arrival.
Otto Lopez – I can’t see the name Otto without thinking of The Simpsons’ bus driver. And I originally typed that sentence as “I can’t seethe” and thought of Sideshow Bob. Can’t believe that show has been on for 34 years. Jennifer Lawrence is younger than The Simpsons. Any hoo! That’s wildly useless info. Otto Mann has been hitting well and playing every day, and would be on pace for 7/25/.260 in 162 games. Tommy Edman called, he wants his stats back.
Tommy Edman – “Pick up your phone, I’m calling!” That’s Tommy Edman after reading about Otto.
Thomas Saggese – Here’s what I said the other day, “Went back and searched old posts on Razzball for Saggese, as I do for all players. I don’t search “Saggese” for everyone. I searched “Saggese for–Ya know what? You understand. My last mention of him was when it looked like he might break camp with the Cards, and I was telling people the first week to “buy” him. By the by, my 1st week Buy lede was for Jackson Merrill. So, what did I say about Saggese? Did I say he sounds like a town on eastern Long Island? No, but that sounds like something I’d say. I was at this lovely AirBnb in Saggese and I saw The Barefoot Contessa from my window. That was how our love affair started. So, about Saggese, I said, “He’s Bryan De La Cruz at 2nd base if he gets at-bats. The problem is the Cards don’t have a lot of room. They need one injury, but that’s a solid NL-Only stash.” And that’s me quoting me! I stand by that assessment still. He went 20/9/.253 in Triple-A all year at 22.” And that’s me quoting me quoting me!
Trey Sweeney – Pretty close to a 20/20 season from Sweeney if you combine his minor league and MLB stats. What’s that? You can’t combine them? Oh, but I just did!
Ezequiel Duran – Some players for no apparent reason have a soft spot with me, and Duran is one. Then I look at his season-long statline and I think I might need to have my head examined. Though, like you’d hear during Rumspringa, Ezequiel has been streaking well recently.
Brayan Rocchio – See what I said for Walls about the 60-grade hit tool? Same for Rocchio, but he’s been more of a .220 hitter.
Kyle Farmer – Okay, say you have a field that you’re sowing, right? Now what if you’re planting your son, Kyle, in that field? What kind of Farmer would you be? Do you see what I’m saying? You do? Can you tell me?
Jasson Dominguez – Already gave you my Jasson Dominguez fantasy. It was written while wondering who first thought, “Animal bones? Let’s make Jello!”
Jonny DeLuca – Rather than feed you a lovely branzino with a lemon-herb sauce, allow me to hand you a fishing rod: If a guy like DeLuca is hitting barely .200 and doesn’t strikeout much, he will 99 out of 100 times have some of the worst contact you’ve ever seen. Is it nice that DeLuca makes contact? Sure, but he also hits a lot of 217-foot fly balls.
Rob Refsnyder – Because I was just looking at DeLuca’s stat page, Refsnyder’s contact? Strikes out more than DeLuca, but he makes harder contact. That’s better. I’ll take someone hitting ~90 MPH exit velocity over 85 with better K%. There’s exceptions, of course.
Matt Wallner – And because I was there, yep, Wallner has some of the sexiest Statcast numbers you’ve ever seen. He might be the number one example of “there’s more to a player than his Statcast page.”
Jarred Kelenic – Expectations have made Kelenic such a bust, but if there’s no expectations, is he having a good season? No. No, he’s not.
Grant McCray – Not sure if the Giants ever let anyone steal, besides Matt Chapman — clearly, a speed demon — but McCray has 20-homer power and could steal 50+ bags. If he can make any sorta contact.
Tommy Pham – One of the top Hard Contact% guys in September, because he was just traded and he loves hitting for two weeks. Crap, he expires tomorrow.
Yariel Rodriguez – This is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to the kennel.
JP Sears – This is also a Streamonator call. “I’d like to rescue a robot dog. You don’t have any? Hmm….Can I rescue a cash register?”
Aroldis Chapman – Pirates have a type. Their closers this year have been Shit-The-Bednar and Arrestis Tied-A-Girl-To-The-Bed.
Luke Weaver – He’s in no way the closer, but also should be the closer. Put “should” in one hand and “Aaron Boone’s managing” in another hand, and you have nothing, you can’t put either in your hand.
Jesus Tinoco – Marlins’ closer could also be Declan Cronin or you. The Marlins might ask you. Stay by your phone.
Hunter Strickland – Some of these closer specs should elicit a question in all of you before you pick them up. That question, “Do I really not care about my ratios and am that desperate for saves?”
Porter Hodge – True sicko stuff, but I can’t wait to draft Porter Hodge for next year. Porter Hodge sounds like someone Jimmy Stewart would’ve been friends with in a 1930’s movie, and I want to be friends with him too! Carry my bags and let’s chat!
SELL
Royce Lewis – Unfortunately, he’s been out for…Hello, intern, how long has Royce Lewis been out? What? No, I demand a real answer! Don’t tell me he’s been playing for the last month! I know that is a lie! I’m going to throw my computer out this window and you will have to fetch it if you don’t tell me the truth! [sees his stats] Oh, snap! Guess what I saw? A fella tongue-kissing my girl in the mouth. Don’t ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend and don’t be thinking Royce Lewis hasn’t been playing, due to injuries. He’s playing and [holds nose]. Maybe it’s because Lewis is not used to playing this many games, but I want someone who is, so I’d move on. Though, if you’re in a dynasty league, then I wouldn’t trade Lewis for a bag of Lay’s Chicken and Tomato chips, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
